Lizzybeth’s Look On Life

Where The Fuck Am I?

Posted on: April 10, 2010

My mam and dad were off for a walk today and I decided to join them – though at various stages I wished Id just stayed in the garden! 

First off my mam said it was flat so I could wear my trainers as my walking shoes are at uni.  Then my dad made me put my sisters big massive walking boots on incase it was muddy.  That meant I had to change out my skirt and put my crop trousers on as I didnt really want to wear full jeans – it was hot.  Then my dad complained that my trousers were jean material and not suitable for walking.  I ignored him and I was fine!!

We walked down a muddy briddle path full of horses hoof prints that I kept tripping over.  Then we walked past a trailer park looking thing (I didnt realise they existed in the UK but there was quite a few farmers/horse owners living in caravans by the looks of it).  We walked through a field full of cows, there was a cute calf that kept sticking its tongue in its mouth LOL.

Eventaully we got to the flat path that my mam had mentioned.  Was an old railway that had been turned into like a cycle path thingy; was a nice walk.  We stopped for lunch at some random point.  Eventually we left the nice path to circle back to the car.  It bugs me that my dad prefers circular walks and seems to hate just turning around and going back the way you came. 

So anyway we walked past lots of lambs, it was sad.  There was a sheep lying awkward looking and then the lamb kept butting it and the sheep didnt move at all.  All the lambs and sheeps were bleating distressed sounding.  I think the sheep was dead – poor little lamby.

Ooo saw lots of butterflys too, and bummble bees.  Everythings waking up but its quite weird that Aprils halfway over and the trees are still pretty bare looking.

We trailed across sooo many fields and stuff, and at one point we walked through what seems to be the local woods to have sex in – at least they used protection judging by the amount of durex packets lying around.  My mam said it looked the local toilet coz apparently there was lots of toilet roll there…

After walking along a road and going through more fields and muddy bridle paths we eventually made it back to the car. 

Near the end I was ready to fall face first on the grass and break down and cry; I was that tired and my feet knacked … plus I had a headache coming on (I now believe it to be sun stroke judging by the redness of my face).  Also near the end my dad went “not far now, another mile or so” … I really hate that or so part; or so blatantly means 20 more fucking miles in my opinion!

I was reminded of why I hate going on walks with my dad, I always feel like Im walking for fucking ever.  Plus I really hate not knowing where I am coz then I cant judge how long its going to take to get back to the car.  All the fields and all the farms looked pretty identical.  I like walks aslong as I know roughly where I am….standing in a field somewhere between Durham and Teeside/Stockton/somewhere like that near Houghton Henry or some godforsaken villagey thing is NOT my idea of knowing where I am…even with a map


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