Lizzybeth’s Look On Life

The Adventures Of Elephant & Castle

Posted on: July 23, 2010

[This was meant to go before my graduation post but this was on my laptop which was dead but I have a new wire yay!]

Random title I know but I will get to it eventually (you’ve got to start at the beginning you know); it’s not as fun as it sounds.

The other weekend I went down to London to see my sister (well mainly coz I wanted to go to Thorpe Park).  So on the Friday I sat squished next to some dodgy bloke on the train for just over 3 hours.  I wasn’t even on the side of the train where you can see the white horse on the hill :[  but at least I had a window seat.  As soon as you got past Darlington the sun started to shine which made me happy.  It had been missing too long in my life.  The train was uneventful; I did lose my Primarni sunglasses though so had to borrow some of my sister’s all weekend (I’ve rebrought them now).

My sister told me to meet me near her work instead of heading to her flat.  She told me to take the east line.  Well that confused me for about 5 minutes as there was no east line.  Eventually I found the stop on the massive underground map and it turned out it was the overground not the east line (maybe it used to be called that).  I love the Tube.  I think if I lived in London whenever I got bored I would just travel round on the Tube all day, seeing as the oyster cards have a cap so once you spend so much you get the rest of the days travel free.  I hate the fact that you have nowhere to look except at the person opposite you though.

So eventually I got to the stop I had to get off at, it was friken boiling in my ¾’s (I had sensibly packed shorts though).  I’ve no idea where it was now, somewhere in Lewisham I think… wherever Goldsmith’s or Goldings university is (hopefully you know what place I’m on about there coz I can’t remember what it’s called but there is a Gold in it).  She was in the pub with some other teacher.  Twas nice and sunny and hot in the beer garden and she brought my drinks so that was ok too.  I’m pretty sure the pub only had like 3 seats inside even though it was pretty big – I assume that’s just a lack in my memory.  We went to pizza express in North Greenwich for tea coz we had a voucher to get a pizza for 45p if you got another one.  Though the voucher wouldn’t let us use it at the O2 so at least I got to see a bit of Greenwich that I hadn’t seen since I went to London for the weekend in year 1.  The chefs at pizza express look like escaped convicts with their little hats and stripy t-shirts.

On the Saturday I had to get up mega early to get to waterloo for 8.15 to catch the train to Staines to get the shuttle to Thorpe Park.  My sister’s friend Mo came (he was a bit dodgy), his mate Sue and then some random lass my sister met on some random new-people-in-London-with-no-friends-yet website called PJ (don’t ask what it was short for, she was American so it was probably something weird).  Thorpe Park isn’t as impressive looking as Alton Towers – there’s no fancy house and gardens.  It just looks like Flamingo Land but with better rides.  Just looking at Stealth made me jiz in my pants – it looked so fucking awesome and I’m still annoyed I didn’t get to go on it *angry face*  I wish I’d invented that ride.

So first we went on Nemesis Inferno – it was pretty similar to the one at Alton Towers but I don’t think it had pretty pink water.  The queue for that was fine coz it was the first ride we went on.  Then we went on the Log Flume coz it was boiling already.  That was good though for some reason only my left side of my face got wet.  Then I finally convinced people to go on Saw.  Well I was like either Saw or Stealth and Saw was closer so we went on that.  90 minute queue!  PJ didn’t come on it so I’d left the bag with the food and water in it with her.  Some idiot on the tanoy kept telling us to stand in the shade…there wasn’t any in the queue coz it was meant to look like an abandoned warehouse.  Some lass fainted in the queue too.  We eventually got on, I thought it was like oblivion where the only part of the ride is the drop but it was a bit more.  The little doll thing on the tricycle said some stuff as you went past but I’ve no idea what coz I couldn’t hear him properly (I’m guessing it was stuff along the lines of “I want to play a game with you”).  There was a surprise drop in the dark then a couple of twists along the corridor to the way outside.  It sprayed us with water when we were upside down which was canny funny coz we all just went “I just got wet!”  Then you went up 180 degrees vertically so you were flat on your back going up this hill.  I had to shut my eyes for that coz I really hate going up on roller coasters and much prefer going down on them.  The drop wasn’t as good as Oblivion – I don’t think it’s as big and you don’t hover at the top.  I guess it took the picture somewhere but I’m not sure where abouts; it also videos you on the ride.  It was still an awesome ride though!

Then we went for food at some over priced place.  Then me, Mo and Sue queued for about an hour for the Live Saw thing while my sister and PJ went on Tidal Wave (the water ride where you get absolutely drenched and I would have loved to go on it in that heat but the queues were too long so I didn’t get on everything).  The Live Saw thing was kinda crap in my opinion.  I was meant to be at the back but I refused so Mo went there.  There was this wimp of a guy at the front so he kinda ruined the whole experience by taking forever to get into the next room so by the time I was in the scariness had worn off.  You have to walk through in a chain holding onto the shoulders of the person in front of you.  The actors can touch you but you can’t touch them…but they were a bit lame.  I think they were probably hot and tired by the time we went in.  Some of the rooms smelt a bit gross though so that was ok I guess.  It would have been better if the tricycle puppet popped out or if someone had a pig mask on and stalked you round.  I guess they can’t think of everything.  We were gonna go on Stealth when we got out coz my sister was still in the queue for Tidal Wave but Stealth had a 90 minute queue and it had broke down anyway (it broke down when my mate was there a few days later so I guess it brakes down a lot) so we went on The Detonator (I think that’s its name) where you just drop straight down.  You get a nice view from the top and its fun to laugh at everyone’s faces when they get to the bottom.  It only does it once though unlike the one at Flamingo Land that does it 2 or 3 times.  Stealth started working just as we were leaving.  We had to leave early coz we wanted to beat the queues to get out then we had to get back to North Greenwich to get ready to get to Clapham for my sister’s mates birthday.  So sadly I didn’t get to go on Stealth (or any of the smaller ones) but I’m planning on going back like September October time as I still have loads of 241 vouchers.  Hopefully the queues will be less.

I’m starting to get to the bit that explains the title of this whole story.  Clapham…ooo so fun.  Michelle was 22 I think, looked about 30 but never mind.  We went to her house first then to Revolution which is not as fancy inside as the one in Newcastle and the drinks are like £2 more *angry face*  £18 on 3 drinks :[  We spent the whole time in the one place, the music was a bit crap – the only song I knew was a Faithless one.  Some of Michelle’s friends were nice though so I was just dancing in the corner with them coz they didn’t seem to know half the people either.  My sister was drunk somehow – either she spent a fortune, is a lightweight, or just a good actor.  She was pissing me off though, she said we could leave when I wanted so I said I wanted to go but she was like “oh we’ll wait till Michelle goes.”  Michelle actually left at some point and we stayed till 2 when it shut.  Then we had to find a bus, the list of buses I’d been given was wrong because there’s two Revolutions in Clapham and we were at the different one.  So when I said “oh well thats not the bus I’ve got on the list” meaning well we don’t need this list anymore she went and fucking bit my head off about how she didn’t know we were going to that Revs blah blah.  So then I was a bit annoyed and didn’t really wana say anything else all night in case she took that the wrong way too.  Then when we were at the bus stop this old Irish guy that we’d been chatting to in Revs came over and was like “oh its the girls from Newcastle who aren’t from Newcastle” and she just give him the hackiest look ever and went “and you are?”  This poor bloke looked confused and I didn’t dare say anything in case she abandoned me in the middle of Clapham.  So we got on this bus and then got off at North Clapham where we walked around for ages to find the bus stop for the bus that was on my list (this was meant to be quicker than staying on the other bus).  At one point I thought I was back in Peru coz it was boiling and there was this Latino bar with Latino looking people outside trying to get us to go in and salsa sounding music inside.  We eventually found the bus stop and got the bus to Elephant and Castle.  Don’t ask why it’s called that.  All it seems to be is 2 massive roundabouts right next to each other.  Seriously, I swear they’re bigger than that one with the Arch De Triumph on in France (that’s not that big but has a lot of roads joining on to it doesn’t it?).  The only other people to get off the bus thought we were going to Ministry of Sound (well they were hoping coz they didn’t know where it was, just knew it was near the roundabout somewhere).  My sister didn’t know for sure and I had no idea where I was never mind MOS.  The roundabouts are just a series of subways for people to get from one side to the other but it’s so confusing.  I think we did a figure of eight about ten times around these roundabouts looking for where the 188 stopped.  She was like a man and refused to ask for directions.  I was hardly talking coz I was fed up and still petrified that I’d say something to piss her off and get dumped in somewhere that was currently resembling the Caribbean.  Though the stalls were closed.  My sister kept announcing that she was going to piss herself if she didn’t go to the loo.  I thought we passed many appealing looking doorways and alleys.  We finally found someone who my sister obviously deemed acceptable to ask for directions from.  Luckily she knew where the 188 stopped so we got there eventually.  I’m pretty sure it was near where we’d gotten off the other bus in the first place.  My sister eventually agreed to go to the toilet down an alley otherwise she wouldn’t last on the bus.  The bus eventually turned up and one of my sister’s flat mates was on the bus.

Finally got back to hers.  It was 4.30 am.  I’m fine coming in at that time when I’ve left the place at like 4 but when you leave somewhere at 2 you don’t really think it’s going to take 2 and a half hours to get home!  All I wanted to do was curl up and cry.  My feet really hurt too coz I had my Iron Fists on and their soles are really thin and not good for walking round and round roundabouts.

On the Sunday we went to Camden to meet 2 other people.  They were nice, can’t remember their names but I think one was called Heather and was originally from Sunderland.  It was actually the first time I finally got to go to Camden (I remember when I went to London for a weekend in year 11 to meet my sister when she got back from India, I tried to convince my mam to take me to Camden to go shopping but she wouldn’t :[  We went to Oxford street instead).  Sadly though I couldn’t even shop coz I had my rucksack on my back and it was pretty big so I didn’t fancy trying to squish through Sunday crowds and stalls.  I’d end up getting pick pocketed and knocking off loads of stuff.  Anyway we went to the posh end of Camden where all the celebs live.  We went for a picnic in Primrose Hill, opposite Jamie Olivers many houses (they were 5 stories so I dunno why he owns 2 or 3 right next to each other with the walls knocked down – I reckon one floor is just a massive kitchen).  This paparazzi dude used us a shield so he could take photos of Rachel Stevens (it took us a while to even remember who she was).  She had a nice picnic basket, you get them made up by whatever expensive company it was, I can’t remember who now but it was on the side of the basket.

I wanted to go get my photo taken at Harry Potter’s platform but I didn’t have time by the time we walked back to the Tube at Camden, realised you can only get out of it between 1 and 5 on a Sunday and not into it coz its too busy otherwise so we had to walk down to Mornington Crescent which was like 10 mins away.  Then we had to change tubes to get to Kings Cross, then I had to leave my sister to get my Oyster Card money back while I looked for my train.  This part confused the hell out of me coz it said platform 0 so I assumed that meant the platform hadn’t been announced even though the train was leaving in like 5 minutes.  So I was waiting in a massive queue to ask the information desk what platform it was, my sister either looked or found someone else to ask but it turned out there was a platform 0.  What sort of fucked up station has a platform zero?? It’s so stupid and confusing.

On the train I walked in on some African lady sorting out her big dress in the toilet coz the stupid woman hadn’t locked the door.  It was a bit embarrassing and annoying coz it then made me paranoid that I hadn’t locked the door or that it would be on a timer or something.  As soon as the train reached York then the clouds came and the sun vanished :[  I was too lazy to change so I had to freeze in my shorts.  But my dad picked me up from Gateshead so that was ok (though a bit annoying coz I was meant to be getting the bus so I’d payed for a transfer on the metro coz I didn’t want to walk past football fans in the pubs near the high level.

Then I got home and watched Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels that I’d borrowed from Hayley.  It was awesome (and not just because Jason Statham was in it) and I never want to give it back (but I will, I’m still gona see if my dad wants to watch it first though).

So yea, that was my weekend in London with the adventure at Elephant & Castle roundabout.  (It’s such a weird name, I never did find the elephant OR the castle).

Really sorry for the length there lol.  According to Word it is about 2860 :O


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